Wilt Thou Be Made Whole?
by Andraeda
Summary: Raising his Goddaughter alone, Harry finds comfort and help from the most unlikely of sources.


**Title:** _Wilt __Thou __Be __Made __Whole?_

**Author:** _Andraeda_

**Pairing:** _Harry/Severus_

**Rating:** _M_

**Summary:** _Raising __his __Goddaughter __alone, __Harry __finds __comfort __and __help __from __the __most __unlikely __of __sources._

**Warnings: **_Mentioned __character __death, __sexual __content._

**Info: **_Not __DH __compliant. __The __poem __at __the __beginning __was __written __by __me __and __is __protected __under __Copyright __Laws. __It __may __not __be __redistributed __without __my __written __permission._

**Disclaimer: **_Not __mine, __J.K. __Rowling__'__s._

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><p><strong>Wilt Thou Be Made Whole?<strong>

By

_Andraeda_

_Wilt thou, my love, be made whole,_

_By this, my damned and troubled soul;_

_Or wilt thou, my dearest, be left empty?_

_Despite this desperate lover's plenty._

_Tho tears touch thy candied cheek,_

_And the sun's slivers longingly streak_

_Across the bruised and bleeding sky,_

_Thy immaculate love shall never die._

_But shall thy sweet and susurrant breath_

_Fall upon my ears, even facing death,_

_Sounding so pure, and soft and low,_

"_Tis certain, thou hast made me whole!"_

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><p><strong>Chapter One<strong>

_B.A.T.S._

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><p>His world was forever changed. <em>He <em>was forever changed. Voldemort was finally gone from his life; for good this time. He had been offered the position of Flying Instructor at Hogwarts which he accepted graciously, and Severus Snape would be teaching Defence Against The Dark Arts once again. Snape's name had been cleared after it was made known that his loyalties had never strayed from the side of Light and he had only been carrying out Dumbledore's orders that night on the Tower. It was in no small thanks to him that the war had been won; Voldemort hadn't been expecting Severus to fight against him. Yes, many things had changed in Harry's life, but there was one change that far outweighed all others.

Harry Potter now had a child to take care of.

When Hermione and Ernie Macmillan had asked him to be godfather to their unborn daughter he had agreed immediately, thinking of the joys his own godfather had brought him, however brief their time together had been. He had been looking forward to being a part of his best friend's child's life, and counting on the amusement of watching Hermione raise her daughter. Unfortunately war had no respect of persons, and Ernie lost his life to the Final Battle in Hermione's seventh month of pregnancy.

The young witch's grief had sent her into early labour and the birth of her daughter had taken its irreparable toll. The baby had been born healthy, but Hermione had taken her last breath as her child had taken its first.

Both Harry and Ron had taken the loss hard, though Harry had no time to properly grieve for his lost friend. The little angel Hermione had brought into the world was now his responsibility, and he was determined to give the little orphan the kind of life that he had been denied.

It hadn't taken much for Harry to legally adopt his goddaughter, as Hermione had expressed it as her wish in her will should she and Ernie die before their child was of age. So it was on June 17th, 2001 that Harry brought Lillian Jean Potter home; the same day that her mother had been laid to rest next to her father.

Yes, Harry Potter's world had forever changed. It now revolved not around defeating a Dark Lord, but around little hands, little feet, brown eyes and honeyed curls. There was no mistaking that Lillian was her mother's daughter, and every time Harry looked into her sweet little face he felt both a twinge of sadness and an overwhelming joy.

Now four years old and all smiles and sunshine, Lillian could make the coldest of hearts melt into a puddle with just a glance. She loved for you to read to her (Harry wasn't surprised) and her favourite thing in the world was the stuffed unicorn that her Uncle Ron had given her for her first Birthday. Harry had named it Hermione and even before Lillian could speak he had told her that it was her mother's name, and that the toy reminded him of her mother because, like a unicorn, she had been sweet and beautiful, too. Lillian carried it everywhere she went and told everyone who would listen how it was like her mummy.

Harry loved Lillian more than anything and never regretted becoming her godfather, and then her father, even for a moment. It wasn't easy raising a little girl single-handedly, but he wasn't without support. Molly of course coddled Lily something awful, and all the Weasleys had welcomed her lovingly into their brood. His acquaintances from the Order were also smitten with her, and, whenever he needed a little bit of extra help, it was always only a fire-call away.

He had been nervous about accepting the position at Hogwarts when Minerva offered it to him after Madam Hooch announced her early retirement – he hadn't worked a day since Lillian came into his life, choosing instead to stay home to take care of her – but Minerva had insisted that it would be good for him, telling Harry that Lillian would be no problem for Hogwarts to handle, and that it would be refreshing to have such a youngster wandering the halls.

Thus, one week before the start of term, Harry found himself running around frantically trying to make sure everything was packed. He was required to be at Hogwarts by dinner, as all the teachers were to arrive early in order to get settled and prepare for the students, and he was just putting the last of Lillian's clothes in her pink travelling suitcase when he heard the sound of someone Flooing in.

"Harry, it's me!"

Harry smiled as he heard the voice of his visitor. Muggles were not supposed to be connected to the Floo Network, but that was the one and only time Harry had used his status as The Boy Who Lived and Saved the World in his favour – so the Grangers could floo to his home to see their granddaughter.

Sticking his head out into the passage Harry called to Hermione's mother. "In here, Emily. Did you stop by to see us off?"

Emily Granger smiled at him as she entered the room and gave him a hug and kiss on the cheek. "Of course I did; I couldn't let you and my little angel run off without saying goodbye. Where is my little granddaughter, anyhow?"

"She's in my bed taking a nap; I was just about to wake her and get her ready to leave," he replied, searching Lily's room for any important items he may have forgotten to pack.

"I'll go wake her and get her ready, and you can make sure you've got everything," said Emily, smiling as she began to walk towards Harry's room.

Harry gave Emily a grateful smile. He had been so relieved when the Grangers had respected and embraced their daughter's decision of leaving Lillian in his care. He had been worried that they would object and want to care for their granddaughter themselves. He had been both touched and pleased when Emily had told him her Hermione had been both smart and sensible, and if she had wanted Harry to take care of her daughter then he was obviously the best choice. In return, Harry had pulled the strings with the Floo Network to make it possible for Emily and John to visit anytime they wished.

He had also been relieved when the Grangers had supported his decision to accept the post at Hogwarts, and he had promised that he would send Lillian to them for visits often.

Everything Lily would need now ready to go, Harry looked fondly at his daughter's bedroom before turning out the lights and shutting the door. He wasn't sure what Hogwarts would have in store for him and Lily, but they were about to find out.

"Well, Lily my love," Harry said, having just Apparated them to the Hogwarts gates, "welcome to our new home."

"Ooohhhh! Fairytale!" Lily squealed, clapping her hands in her daddy's arms, her brown eyes widening in delight as she gazed up at the castle.

Harry chuckled. "Yes, it does look like something out of a fairytale, doesn't it? Let's just hope it offers us a happy ending. Now, got your Hermione?"

Lily raised her arm to show her toy unicorn clutched by the mane in her little fingers. "Yep! Got my Miney!"

Harry smiled indulgently down at his precious little girl as he started to make his way across the familiar grounds, his memories pulling him back to the days when he had still been a part of the now broken Golden Trio. Lily looked so much like her mother that it was sometimes all he could do not to break down in tears when she looked up at him with those twinkling brown eyes. She was looking even cuter than normal today, wearing her little Hogwarts school robes that Minerva had given her, a little badge on her chest that said 'Gryffindor in the making'.

She was currently chatting up a storm, but Harry could only decipher half of what she was saying: something about Princesses, Dragons, and a Fairy God Mother. Two things were for certain about Lily: she wasn't shy in the slightest and she absolutely loved to talk. Dinner tonight at the staff table would definitely be an interesting affair.

"Here we go, Lils," Harry said, opening the doors and stepping into the Entrance Hall. He put Lillian down and removed both of their travelling cloaks, hanging them in the nearby cupboard. Holding her hand he led her to the Great Hall where all the other staff members were already seated at the table.

"Daddy!" Lily exclaimed, tugging on his hand and pointing upwards. "The roof is gone!"

Harry chuckled. "No, dear heart, it is only charmed to look that way. I promise, we'll read your mummy's favourite book, _Hogwarts: __A __History_ later and I'll tell you all about it."

Harry tuned his attention from his enthralled daughter to the head table, where all the staff but one was smiling at him and greeting him and Lillian. The one, of course, who was not smiling was Severus Snape. Lily hadn't even yet turned one the last time Harry had seen the man at the previous Order meeting, before it was decided further meetings were unnecessary as nearly all of the remaining Death Eaters had been caught and Voldemort vanquished.

Snape hadn't changed much after the war, though everyone had assumed he might. Personally, Harry thought the man too far gone for change. Yet something had seemed to pass between them That Night as they had stood on the battle field staring at the spot where Voldemort lay dead. It had been a silent understanding and mutual appreciation, both knowing it couldn't have happened without the help of the other. While Severus had still treated Harry with the same sharp tongue and insults, it wasn't with the loathing that had once laced the professor's words.

Harry hoped that they could form a friendship; he had always found the man interesting – no matter how scathing – and couldn't deny that there was something about the man's very countenance that was attractive. He held no hopes that Severus would be kind in the conventional sense to him, but he was hoping for kindness in Snape standards.

With slight trepidation and perhaps more excitement than he should have felt, Harry noticed that the only free chair remaining at the table was between the snarky man and the headmistress. Scooping Lily up into his arms (she was still too fascinated with looking up that she couldn't be bothered to walk) Harry made his way around the table and took his seat, smiling at Minerva.

"Good to see you, Harry! And you Lillian!" Minerva said, grinning at the young witch who was still gazing at the ceiling.

Hearing her name finally got her attention, and Lily turned her eyes to the older witch before squealing in delight. "Aunt Minnie!" she called happily, reaching her arms out impatiently.

The normally stern headmistress chuckled and pulled her over into her lap. "And I'm happy to see you, too, little one. Do you like my castle so far?"

As Lily launched into a story about a Princess and a Castle, Harry turned his head towards Severus. "Good evening, Professor."

"Potter," he growled, inclining his head marginally.

"Looking forward to another term?" Harry asked conversationally, beginning to fix a plate for him and Lily.

"Almost as greatly as I'd look forward to facing another Dark Lord," he drawled, glaring at his plate.

"Come now, Severus, the students aren't as bad as all that," Filius said from Severus's other side, earning him a scowl from the Defence professor.

Harry just shook his head in amusement. He hadn't realised how much he had actually missed Severus's sarcasm until this moment. Once you learned that Severus was mainly bark with minimal bite, he became quite entertaining instead of intimidating. Turning his attention to his daughter who seemed to have engaged half the table in a thrilling tale from one of her storybooks, Harry tapped his little chatterbox on the shoulder. "Excuse me, missy, but you'll have to finish that compelling tale at breakfast; come back over here and let's eat," he said, grabbing her and settling her on his lap.

Her attention turned straight to the dark-haired man beside her. Reaching over a small hand she tugged lightly on his sleeve to get his attention, and when he turned to glare at her she didn't seem the slightest bit fazed. "What's your name?" she asked, eyeing him with innocent curiosity.

"Professor Severus Snape," he said sotto voce, turning his attention quickly back to his plate.

"Hey, you didn't ask me my name!" she said, furrowing her little brows in irritation, causing Harry to hide his smile behind her head.

"Fine," Severus bit out, turning back to her. "What's your name?"

"Lillian Jean Macmillan-Potter," she announced proudly, and then lifted her stuffed unicorn for Severus to see. "And this is Miney. She's named after my mum who can't be here because she had to go be with my dad in Heaven. Daddy said my mummy was pretty and sweet, just like unicorns are," she said brightly.

Harry was surprised to see Severus's expression soften slightly, though he looked at a loss for words. Harry rather thought that was a first, but could tell that the man was uncomfortable. "Lily, let's leave Professor Snape alone now and eat your dinner; it's getting close to bedtime," he said gently, turning her attention to her plate.

The rest of the meal passed by smoothly and without incident, and it wasn't long before Harry had Lillian tucked into bed, having just finished her story. He was just getting ready to turn off her light and leave when her sleepy voice stopped him.

"Daddy? Did Pr'essor Snape's mummy die, too?"

Caught off guard by the sudden question, Harry replied softly, "I don't know, sweetheart, why do you ask?"

Lily's little fingers ran through her unicorn's mane as she looked at the toy. "'Cause he seemed sad. I know when I'm sad, it's because I wish my mummy could be here. Maybe Pr'essor Snape's mummy had to leave him and go to Heaven, too."

Harry's heart broke at the sadness he heard in his angel's voice, but he couldn't help a slight smile as well. Only four years old and already, like her mum, she was making excuses for Snape's behaviour. Perhaps instead of S.P.E.W Lily would be trying to get people to join her in B.A.T.S.–the Brigade for the Awareness of the Tenderness of Snape. Shaking his head in amusement at the thought, he turned off the light and climbed into Lillian's bed, crawling under the covers and holding her against his chest.

"My precious Lily," he whispered, stroking her hair soothingly. "You're so thoughtful and caring, just like your mummy was. I know she's watching over you right now with pride, wishing she could be here to tell you just how proud she is of you."

Lily's fingers played sleepily with a button on Harry's robe as she said, "I wish mummy was here, too. But since she had to go away, I'm glad she left me with you, Daddy."

At those words Harry tucked Lillian's head beneath his chin so she wouldn't see his tears, holding her to him tightly as he whispered, "Me too, my little one. Me too."

The following morning after breakfast (which was taken in the staff's personal quarters along with lunch when the students were away) found Harry and Lillian outside, walking down the vast lawns toward the large tree by the lake. It was a fairly nice day, the sun shining though the air holding a bit of a chill as summer was quickly conceding to the coming winter.

Sitting down beneath the tree, Harry pulled a few shrunken items from the pocket of his cloak, resizing them and laying them out before Lillian. "Now, my love, which would you like to colour in first: Woodland Faeries or Little Witches?"

"Woodland Faeries!"

Harry chuckled at her enthusiasm, handing her the book and her Magic Colour Stix. "Here you are, love. You colour something pretty while Daddy reads the paper."

Sitting back against the tree, Harry unfolded the _Prophet _and started to read when Lily interrupted him.

"Daddy?"

"What is it, Lily?"

"What's Pr'essor Snape's favourite colour? Maybe if I colour him a pretty picture, it will cheer him up!" she said, her brown eyes bright with childish warmth, and the sun bringing out the golden tones in her chestnut curls.

Harry smiled at his daughter, chuckling internally at Snape's reaction to receiving a coloured picture from a four-year-old, with the intent to 'cheer him up.' "I believe his favourite colours are black, green and silver, love. And that is a very sweet idea."

Her brows furrowed as she picked up the Colour Stix that he had mentioned. "But they're not very happy colours. Are you sure he wouldn't like pink and yellow?" she asked hopefully, causing Harry to laugh.

"I think you should colour it whatever colours you want to, sweetest. But bear in mind that Professor Snape might not be used to getting such gifts, so don't expect him to act as Grandma does when you colour your pretty pictures for her, alright?" Harry said, hoping that Snape would exercise enough tact not to hurt Lillian's feelings, but wanting to prepare his daughter for the possibility.

"If Pr'essor Snape isn't used to people being nice to him, then I'll just have to be nice to him until he is," she said matter-of-factly, selecting one of her Colour Stix and turning her attention to the page before her.

Harry shook his head, thinking perhaps he hadn't been so far off when he had joked to himself that Lily would be crusading for Snape as her mum had done for house-elves. For some reason his little girl seemed determined to befriend the dark man that so few would even go near willingly, let alone colour pictures for. He had to admit to being somewhat concerned. On one hand, he thought it might be good for Snape to have Lily's kindness and youthful exuberance directed at him, but on the other, he was worried that Lily might end up getting hurt, being too young to understand the ways and personality of such a complicated man as Severus Snape. For now, he wouldn't say anything and he would leave her be. There might come a point where he would need to intervene and talk to her about leaving Severus alone, but for now, he would see what happened.

He grinned as he watched Lily colouring. Like her mum she was meticulous to the extreme, and she was obviously trying her hardest to stay in the lines, her little tongue stuck between her teeth in her efforts. Pushing his concerns away for the moment, Harry turned his attention back to the paper, knowing one thing for certain: whether Snape liked it or not, the man had now become the project of a four-year-old girl.

This thought amused Harry to no end.

The next half hour passed in relative silence, the only sound coming from Lillian as she occasionally muttered under her breath as she worked, until finally sitting up suddenly and proudly declaring, "Finished!"

Looking over the top of the _Prophet _Harry accepted the page his daughter was offering him, looking down at what she had been working so hard on. He had to admit to being impressed. She had chosen to colour a beautiful faerie holding a large butterfly in her hand as she sat in the centre of an exotic magical flower. There were only a few places where Lily had strayed outside of the lines, and she had incorporated all of Snape's favourite colours, mixing in a few of her own as well. She had coloured the flower dark blue, and the faerie's dress was light pink and her wings were violet. Lily had made her hair black, her eyes bright blue, and the large butterfly was dark green and silver.

"Do the charm, Daddy!"

Harry looked down at his angel with pride, pulled out his wand and tapped it to the enchanted page, and watched as the faerie looked up from the now fluttering butterfly and smiled. "It's beautiful, Lillian."

"Do you think Pr'essor Snape will like it?" she asked hopefully, taking the picture back from him and watching the moving image with delight.

Reaching out, he gently tucked a lock of hair behind her ear as he replied, "I don't see how he couldn't, love."

She smiled happily. "Can we go give it to him now, Daddy? Can we?"

Harry bit his lip, unsure of how Snape would react to him and Lily showing up on his doorstep, invading his personal space. "Why don't we wait until dinner, hm?" He knew he was in trouble after saying this as Lily's face fell and she began to pout. She knew exactly how to get her way with him, and he knew this time would be no different.

"If you think that would be best, Daddy," she said pitifully, causing Harry to sigh.

Why couldn't she just throw a fit, stomp her feet and cry hysterically like other children, Harry wondered, half-amused and half-annoyed. He was certain he would be able to resist such a display as that, but this pitiful acceptance thing she had down pat got to him every time. Mrs Granger had told him that Hermione had done the exact same thing when she had been little, and Harry wondered if his late best friend had been given the chance, if she would succeed in still being able to deny Lily anything when faced with it. He certainly couldn't, and Lily, the little brat, knew it.

"Oh come on then," he said, exasperated, as he stood from his spot and shrank her colouring things and the _Prophet_ once more, putting them back into his cloak pocket and offering her his hand.

She beamed at him, slipping her little hand into his own and saying, "You're the best, Daddy!"

Harry chuckled as they made their way back up the lawns. "And you, my dear Lily, are a brat." He laughed when she stuck her tongue out at him. Such attitude in such a tiny package! And Harry thanked Merlin every day for the joy it brought into his life.

Leading Lily back into the castle, they began making their way down into the depths of the dungeons, which – for reasons unknown to him – Lily seemed to be fascinated with. Her fingers trailed along the damp stone as they walked, and she occasionally asked random questions as most children do that their parents have hard times answering, such as why 'Pr'essor' Snape would want to live all the way in the dungeons so far away from everyone else. Harry told her it was because Professor Snape liked his solitude, but he was certain the reason was far deeper than that, and as he didn't understand it himself, he couldn't begin to put it in terms simple enough for a child to comprehend.

However, whatever reasons Snape remained secluded were moot at present, as the man, like it or not (and Harry was pretty positive it'd be the latter), was about to have his precious solitude disrupted – and all because a little girl coloured him a picture, no less.

Harry couldn't suppress his smile. Retribution sometimes came in the most unexpected forms, but it made it no less savoury. It was with this thought that he raised his hand and knocked sharply against the heavy door, a sense of anticipation growing in his stomach that he didn't quite understand, though he thought it might be better that way. Before he could ponder this more, however, the door had snapped open, and both Harry and Lily found themselves looking up into the annoyed face of the man they had come to see.

"What, pray tell, do _you _want, Potter?" Snape drawled, his impatient tone hinting that he had been in the middle of something he had considered very important, and didn't appreciate being interrupted. Not in the slightest.

Harry was thinking good intentions or not, Lily deserved at least a week's grounding for talking him into this. '_Oh __well,__'_ he thought, '_in __for __a __knut__…'_

Clearing his throat slightly, Harry replied, "I don't want a thing, Professor. Lillian wanted to see you." He enjoyed seeing the brief flicker of shock in the man's eyes before he gained control over the reaction as quickly as it had come, and turned his gaze to Lillian who was bouncing up and down on her toes in excitement.

"And to what do I owe this… _pleasure_, Miss Potter?" he snarled less than kindly.

Lillian, however, merely smiled up at him, removing her hands from behind her back where she had been hiding the picture and offering it to him. "I made you something, Pr'essor Snape," she said proudly.

Harry watched in part amusement and part fear for Lillian's feelings as Snape looked down his nose at her, eyes piercing. Lillian didn't even flinch beneath his suspicious glare, and she waited with more patience then a four-year-old should possess as the man slowly – almost cautiously – extended his hand and took the picture from her, examining the colouring page with barely concealed shock.

"Daddy said you probably aren't used to getting gifts," – here Snape's eyes left the moving picture and flew to Harry's, though too quickly for Harry to react as the man's attention returned to Lillian who was still speaking – "so you don't have to say anything. I just… wanted you to have it," she said with a simple, child-like shrug, before turning to look up at Harry.

"Naptime, Daddy."

Harry wanted to laugh at that. Leave it to the daughter of Hermione Granger to do something so monumental as to dare to give Severus Snape a gift for no special reason other than to cheer him up, and then declare something as mundane as it being naptime. And what was it with the Granger women and their schedules, anyhow? A child Lillian's age should be protesting naps vehemently, but not his daughter; no, eleven o' clock was naptime, and schedules were sacred.

"Alright, my love. Run along down the corridor and I'll catch up."

"Bye Pr'essor Snape!" she called merrily, and not waiting for a response she set off skipping down the passage. Harry rather thought it was the first time skipping had ever occurred in the dungeons, and for some reason that thought made him smile.

Turning his attention to the man still in the doorway, he said, "I'm sorry to have come unannounced, but Lillian insisted. She said that you seemed sad last night at dinner, and she wanted to do something to cheer you up. Thank you for…" Harry faltered slightly. _Thank __you __for __what, __precisely? __Not __exacting __your __ire __and __reducing __my __daughter __to __hysterical __tears? _"...accepting her gift," he finished. And following in his daughter's lead he didn't wait for a response as he said, "Have a good day, Professor," before nodding slightly in parting and briskly catching up to Lillian half way down the corridor. He reached out and grabbed her hand, feeling Snape's eyes on them, but he never glanced back.

He somehow felt that a new page had just been turned, even though the man had hardly spoken a word. Perhaps Lillian would be able to bridge the gap, so to speak, and bring the long secluded professor back into the land of the living. Personally, Harry thought it was well past time. After Snape's efforts in the war, he definitely deserved to actually _enjoy_life for a change. Harry wasn't very optimistic that he and Lillian could succeed in such an endeavour, but… looking down into his daughter's bright, hopeful face… he thought this time, he just might dare to dream of the impossible.

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><p><em><strong>TBC...<strong>_


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